Haints - collected stories
Upstate NY
“All four of them were huffing glue. He said so, the one who survived. They were on the way back from a show in Syracuse and something came out of the woods, right in front of the car. The driver, his head was cut off. His body stuck in the wind shield. Ozzy still grinning on his t-shirt.”
“She had a restraining order but she came home from the late shift and found him waiting in her house. She ran out but he caught and killed her right there in the road. After that, they say you’d see her at night, running toward the passing cars. It was a dirt road back then. No one saw her after they paved it.”
“You can still hear her walking in the old jail house. She was the last woman hanged in the state.” “Why?” “Her husband beat her, so she killed him, chopped him and fed him to the pigs.” “No shit. I know some girls who should start raising pigs.”
“He went to work down at Remington’s, making rifles all week and doing the National Guard for the extra cash on the weekend. He liked it. He called it playing soldier. He never expected to leave the valley, let alone go over there. He’d been gone about a month when I saw him under that old tree. Just like grandpa. Grandma Bee knew he’d died in the hospital ‘cause she’d seen him under that tree.”
( from allemeda moody)
“I worked that factory all my life and ghosts don’t give me no peace except on Sundays. Anybody making rifles has got blood on their hands and they better accept it quick, else the haints will make them crazy.
West Virginia
“He ‘d lost his job and tried hunting to put some meat on the table. I don’t think he saw a deer once though, not as goosed up as he’d get. One night he found a dead buck on the side of the road. It hadn’t been hit, it was just lying there with its tongue hanging out. He shot it and tossed it in the back of the truck. He told his wife he’d bagged it and she was proud of him catching such a big one. They had it butchered and she cooked up the venison. His whole family got sick -–the runs, heaving up, and crazy fever. They thought it was food poison but after a week it didn’t stop. At night he’d hear kicking and banging in the back of his truck. He told his wife the truth and buried the rest of the meat in the back yard. They got better. He got food stamps and bought hamburger.”
Atlanta
Miss Thang 1.
She came up to Memphis. Miss Thang, Miss Thang, she called everyone, and that’s what we called her. She wore this big, fucked-up wig, like a country star. She worked the alley behind the theatre and called all her tricks her stage hands, her back stage Johnnies. She got strung out, always pissing us off and stealing shit. Somebody painted MISS THANG HAS THE AIDS,” all over the street. She did and she had to work there with everybody knowin’ it. We didn’t see her down there for while, then word got around she’d died in the hospice. If you think you got AIDS go down to the alley. If you got it, you’ll see her.
Miss Thang 2.
She had a chest like Dolly’s, a real good job. She said a Nashville record guy paid for it. The other girls knew she was some hick though. They teased her accent, “Oh, miss Thang fortigot her panties! She’s come all untucked.” When she worked her cleavage they’d yell, “Hey farm girl, you use cow-shit to make them titties grow?” She’d laugh and say, “Y’all know miss thang has it all.” Then somebody would say, “Get your operation and you might have a little less.” “Oh no” she’d say, “Mama’s got titties and a bottle to suck on, Miss thang has it all!” Some guys got hold of her one night. They cut off her tits and her dick, and left her in the dumpster. The girls say she’s out there still, watching over them. If they see her, or hear “Miss Thang’s got it all” they won’t go with any johns.
“All four of them were huffing glue. He said so, the one who survived. They were on the way back from a show in Syracuse and something came out of the woods, right in front of the car. The driver, his head was cut off. His body stuck in the wind shield. Ozzy still grinning on his t-shirt.”
“She had a restraining order but she came home from the late shift and found him waiting in her house. She ran out but he caught and killed her right there in the road. After that, they say you’d see her at night, running toward the passing cars. It was a dirt road back then. No one saw her after they paved it.”
“You can still hear her walking in the old jail house. She was the last woman hanged in the state.” “Why?” “Her husband beat her, so she killed him, chopped him and fed him to the pigs.” “No shit. I know some girls who should start raising pigs.”
“He went to work down at Remington’s, making rifles all week and doing the National Guard for the extra cash on the weekend. He liked it. He called it playing soldier. He never expected to leave the valley, let alone go over there. He’d been gone about a month when I saw him under that old tree. Just like grandpa. Grandma Bee knew he’d died in the hospital ‘cause she’d seen him under that tree.”
( from allemeda moody)
“I worked that factory all my life and ghosts don’t give me no peace except on Sundays. Anybody making rifles has got blood on their hands and they better accept it quick, else the haints will make them crazy.
West Virginia
“He ‘d lost his job and tried hunting to put some meat on the table. I don’t think he saw a deer once though, not as goosed up as he’d get. One night he found a dead buck on the side of the road. It hadn’t been hit, it was just lying there with its tongue hanging out. He shot it and tossed it in the back of the truck. He told his wife he’d bagged it and she was proud of him catching such a big one. They had it butchered and she cooked up the venison. His whole family got sick -–the runs, heaving up, and crazy fever. They thought it was food poison but after a week it didn’t stop. At night he’d hear kicking and banging in the back of his truck. He told his wife the truth and buried the rest of the meat in the back yard. They got better. He got food stamps and bought hamburger.”
Atlanta
Miss Thang 1.
She came up to Memphis. Miss Thang, Miss Thang, she called everyone, and that’s what we called her. She wore this big, fucked-up wig, like a country star. She worked the alley behind the theatre and called all her tricks her stage hands, her back stage Johnnies. She got strung out, always pissing us off and stealing shit. Somebody painted MISS THANG HAS THE AIDS,” all over the street. She did and she had to work there with everybody knowin’ it. We didn’t see her down there for while, then word got around she’d died in the hospice. If you think you got AIDS go down to the alley. If you got it, you’ll see her.
Miss Thang 2.
She had a chest like Dolly’s, a real good job. She said a Nashville record guy paid for it. The other girls knew she was some hick though. They teased her accent, “Oh, miss Thang fortigot her panties! She’s come all untucked.” When she worked her cleavage they’d yell, “Hey farm girl, you use cow-shit to make them titties grow?” She’d laugh and say, “Y’all know miss thang has it all.” Then somebody would say, “Get your operation and you might have a little less.” “Oh no” she’d say, “Mama’s got titties and a bottle to suck on, Miss thang has it all!” Some guys got hold of her one night. They cut off her tits and her dick, and left her in the dumpster. The girls say she’s out there still, watching over them. If they see her, or hear “Miss Thang’s got it all” they won’t go with any johns.
posted by donal Mosher at
6:05 PM
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